The Genocide of Battered Mothers and their Children

Archive for the ‘domestic law’ Category

Is World War Needed to Protect Our Children? Battered Mothers, Abused Children, A National Crisis

In domestic law on May 17, 2013 at 12:28 pm


The Phyllis Chesler Organization

Is World War Needed to Protect Our Children?

Every time a news story breaks about a woman imprisoned as a sex slave (for example the Cleveland Three) people are, appropriately, shocked and horrified.

What is even more shocking is the fact that such crimes are committed every single day in every country on earth. Children and adult women are routinely sold, tricked or kidnapped in epidemic numbers and trafficked into sex slavery for profit. Rarely do such pimps and profiteers bother to keep one girl (or boy) only for themselves.

Civilian pedophiles do that. We think of pedophiles as depraved older men or, increasingly, as men of the cloth, whose prey is an under-age stranger. Once caught, they are registered as sex offenders and law enforcement can, potentially, keep eyes on them.

But what if the pedophiles are fathers and their captive prey are their own children? How will the police ever learn about this? There is no system that monitors children in their own homes. When mothers try to do so, they often lose custody of their children. Pedophiles, including a child’s own father, are often charming, docile, and seem "normal."

Given that it is almost impossible to "police" a man’s home (which is still his castle), mothers are on the front line in terms of protecting children. There is no one else. But when mothers try to protect their children from physical or sexual abuse they often lose custody of them.

This past weekend I delivered a keynote speech at the tenth annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference. This conference was founded by Dr. Maureen ("Mo") Hannah and has functioned as a life line forbattered and "protective" mothers. The program included keynote speeches by Terry O’Neill, NOW’s national President and Toby Kleinman, prominent family law attorney and champion for women’s rights. More than 15 sessions took place, led by the most dedicated and fearless lawyers, mental health professionals, and mothers. More than 150 people attended this conference. Forty people delivered lectures; 10 of them were custodially challenged mothers.

Some mothers lost custody of their children to their batterers. Many battered mothers lost their children when they alleged that their violent husbands had also been sexually abusing their child. Often such mothers are seen as "crazy," and as "alienating" the child from their perfectly nice father. I first broke this scandal 27 years ago when I published my book Mothers on Trial. The Battle for Children and Custody. There have been some improvements. Documented domestic violence is often factored in a bit more often; where there are assets, judges may award mothers a greater percentage of them; gay parents and mothers with demanding careers do not lose custody as they once did for these reasons.

However, matters have worsened in many areas—so much so, that I added eight chapters to the 25thanniversary edition of this book. Two chapters are titled "Court-Enabled Incest in the 1980s and 1990s," and "Court-Enabled Incest in the Twenty-First Century."

The court system does not want to believe that a well-spoken, charismatic man could really be a savage wife-beater or child abuser. It is easier to believe that his traumatized, sleepless, frightened and rapidly impoverished wife is lying, exaggerating or imagining things. I have interviewed many such mothers, and many more were present at this extraordinary conference which was held in Washington DC at the George Washington University Law School.

The police do not rescue these children. In fact, the courts often award custody to their abusers and severely limit the "crazy’ mothers’ visitation. When such mothers finally run away to save their children, they are routinely captured, imprisoned and lose access to their children for a very long time.

One such mother, Holly Collins, was beaten badly for a very long time in the American state of Minnesota. Her children were beaten, too. No one came to their rescue. On the contrary. Eventually, the father, who terrified his children, gained custody of them. The court system nearly destroyed this mother and her children. And so, in 1994, Holly fled the country. She carried her entire legal file with her in her suitcases. In 1996, after an extensive legal review and appeal, Holland granted this American mother political asylum (!) on the grounds that America had not protected her or her children and did not seem likely to ever do so. Garland Waller directed a riveting documentary about Holly, titled No Way Out But One. The film was shown to the conference. According to Dr. Hannah, their reaction was "highly positive."

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, the Battered Mothers Custody Conference and The National Organization of Men Against Sexism presented an award to the "People and Government of the Netherlands and to the extraordinary lawyer who fought for Holly and her children, Els Lucas.

The BMCC mothers asked me amazing questions. "Do we need to launch another world war to keep the children safe in America?" "Where is our Abraham Lincoln on this subject?" "What country should we live in if not here?" The mothers, including a group calling itself the "Mothers of Lost Children" demonstrated outside the White House.

According to the testimonies of these mothers, their children either witnessed their mothers being beaten on a daily basis and/or were also beaten; some children were also sexually abused. These were households of terror, ruled over by a legal husband and father, not by a stranger. Yes, I know, some mothers falsely allege domestic violence; most do not, nor do most mothers allege incest unless a teacher, pediatrician, social worker or other mandated reporter does so first. And why? Because 21st century mothers have all been advised by their lawyers that they risk losing custody if they make such an allegation. Even so, these mothers still lost custody of the children they were trying to protect.

Jennifer Collins, Holly’s daughter, has created a website for children who, like her, are living "underground." Both Jennifer, who is working as a para-legal, and Holly, led a workshop at the conference.

The work I began in 1976, when I testified in my first custody case for a mother and when I worked with "protective" mothers in the 1980s,continues. Now, there is a growing movement underway. I salute all those who are part of it.

Related Topics: Motherhood & Custody

THE WASHINGTON POST: Battered Mothers Custody Conference This Weekend Shine Light On Child Custody Abuse

In domestic law on May 13, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Battered Mothers Custody Conference
Conference shines light on plight of battered mothers seeking custody

Board, Published: May 10


THE BATTLES over child custody that unfold in courtrooms across the United States don’t get much attention. If a celebrity is involved, there might be headlines, but publicity is generally shunned out of the not-unreasonable urge to protect the privacy of children. Unfortunately, though, that has tended to shroud problems in how these critical decisions are made. That’s why a conference focusing attention this week on systemic issues in family court is so important.

The Battered Mothers Custody Conference started Friday at George Washington University Law School and concludes Sunday with a vigil at the White House. It brings together victims of domestic abuse, advocates and experts in an effort to reform a system they say doesn’t do enough to protect children. Too often, said organizers of the event, which is now in its 10th year, custody or access in contested cases where domestic violence has been alleged is given to abusive fathers because of a misguided emphasis on parental rights that discounts or disbelieves the concerns of women who have been battered. Victimized parents, often suffering from trauma caused by the abuse, are bankrupted and punished for fighting for their children.

“Cascading disasters and shattered lives are predictable and inevitable,” said Eileen King, executive director of Child Justice in the District and a speaker at the conference. She pointed to the case of 15-month-old Prince McLeod Rams, allegedly drowned by his father after his mother unsuccessfully tried to block unsupervised visits, and the infamous deaths in 2008 of Amy Castillo’s young children by a father she warned was dangerous.

Mo Hannah, a psychologist at Siena College near Albany, N.Y., who helped start the conference because of her own divorce experience, said the broad-based coalition of people who attend the event collects data on the extent of the problems, provides support and, most important, advocates for better practices in how decisions are made and monitored.

joeyisalittlekid: Hypocrisy in Action

In domestic law on April 20, 2013 at 12:28 am

How to make the courts work for domestic violence survivors, not for abusers‏ – CIVIC REASEARCH INSTITUTE: Representing the Domestic Violence Survivor

In domestic law on April 18, 2013 at 9:19 pm
Civic Research Institute
"A must for every practitioner who is representing abuse survivors …"*
Representing the Domestic Violence Survivor
By Barry Goldstein, J.D. and Elizabeth Liu, J.D.
Format: Casebound Book
with Gold Foil Stamp
© 2013 562 pp.
ISBN 978-1-887554-93-0
List Price: $149.50
Product Code: RDV
"This is a gift for all legal professionals and concerned community members—evidence-based guidance to improve our interventions with abuse survivors, offenders and their children." —Sarah M. Buel, Clinical Professor of Law, Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law, Arizona State University
All too often, the courts get domestic violence cases spectacularly wrong, accepting "junk" science and myth in handing down decisions that favor abusive fathers while placing protective mothers and their children in grave jeopardy. In fairness to judges, some of the mistakes are caused by the failure of victims’ advocates to present needed information to the court. We all need to do better!
This important new book helps you present domestic violence cases in the most effective way possible and provide better protection for survivors and children. You’ll discover:

# How to build a more productive working relationship with your client
  • What current scientific research is telling us about violence and victim behavior and how to use this new knowledge on your client’s behalf
  • How common practices used in custody and other courts fail to protect victims of domestic violence and how to prevail against these unfair and harmful practices

# How to focus the court’s attention on issues and approaches that promote the safety of mothers and children
“Abusers and their allies have a seemingly endless series of legal tricks up their sleeve. The publication of this book is a blow for justice.” — Lundy Bancroft, author of The Batterer as Parent
“… this book will help attorneys overcome the advantages abusers have in court and in the process help good judges learn the best ways to protect children and avoid being manipulated by common abuser tactics.”—Rita Smith, Executive Director, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Successful advocacy for DV survivors begins here…
  • Build a compelling case that proves pattern of abuse
  • Prepare for and respond to unfair legal tactics abusers often employ
  • Use current behavioral research—real science, not junk science—to support your client
  • Effectively work with—and challenge, if necessary—court-appointed "neutral" parties such as guardians ad litem and forensic psychologists
  • Create a "safety plan" for every victim
Order today

"Goldstein and Liu have given those who serve survivors the platform for competent advocacy."
*Margaret B. Drew, J.D., LL.M., Domestic Violence Consultant

Civic Research Institute, Inc. 4478 Route 27 Ste 202 Kingston NJ 08528
Subscriber Services: 609-683-4450

A Nation of Motherless Children? | Janie McQueen, Author and Divorce Gamesmanship Expert

In domestic law on April 14, 2013 at 10:04 pm A Nation of Motherless Children? “In some of the more severely manipulated cases, the tables were turned on mothers who sought to protect their children from abusive fathers; they were punished in family court and by the abusive parent. Many are limited to a couple hours’ supervised visitation every two weeks. They don’t have the privilege of shaking on the bleachers with the rest of us, who naturally take such excursions for granted. Many times there’s a protective order that would keep them from attending even public events such as this, when all they long to do is see their children in action, and enjoy a game to break up a brutal week of missing their children. …What kind of man goes to every length and expense possible to deny his children a healthy, some would say critical, portion of motherly love in their lives? Or not even that–what kind of man begrudges his ex any meaningful contact with her own children? Is this not evidence he could be lacking as a father? If not, why? Sorry about that failed relationship, man, but the children from it remain. Lucky you to have a magic wallet to make it all go away. It’s time to stop treating kids as chattel instead of children.” Janie McQueen’s Book on How Family Court Is A Game: Hanging On By My Fingernails: Surviving the New Divorce Gamesmanship, and How a Scratch Can Land You in Jail In this daring, groundbreaking book, journalist Janie McQueen unveils the truth behind the “new divorce gamesmanship”–vicious tactics that thrust victims into complex webs of legal tangles that destroy spirits and hobble divorce cases. These surprisingly common–and legally deadly–ploys can and often lead to criminal charges and trials, lingering records, heartbreaking child custody battles, embarrassing distortion campaigns, and even unemployment as employers increasingly trawl the Internet for background checks.

joeyisalittlekid: So Who is This David Schied?

In domestic law on April 11, 2013 at 3:52 pm Terrorist Network Known As Lawless America

BONSHEÁ Making Light of the Dark New Book Release – Salem-News.Com

In domestic law on April 11, 2013 at 5:18 am

Many mothers who seek safety from abuse are routinely prohibited from having even the most basic contact with their own children, not because they were unfit parents, but because they were outspent, out represented, and out-maneuvered in a court atmosphere not pre pared to understand the needs of families dealing with domestic violence.

In domestic law on April 1, 2013 at 2:10 pm

Originally posted on we hunted the mammoth:

[TRIGGER WARNING for picture of brutalized woman]

If you want to show someone what sort of website A Voice for Men is, have them look at the following screenshot, which I’m putting below the jump because it may well trigger some readers in its depiction of the effects of domestic violence on women:

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Today in Rape Culture: More #Steubenville Awfullness on Twitter

In domestic law on April 1, 2013 at 2:07 pm

Originally posted on we hunted the mammoth:

The Public Shaming blog and have been doing the world a service by documenting some of the worst rape apologist nonsense that sprouted up on Twitter in the wake of the Steubenville rape verdict. I thought I would add some more screenshots to the growing pile.

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Manosphere misogynists: Perpetually angry that women can say no?

In domestic law on April 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm

Originally posted on we hunted the mammoth:

I‘m beginning to wonder if every single complaint from manosphere misogynists comes back to their rage at the fact that women get to decide who can have sex with them. Take the following comment from The ostensible topic of conversation? A study reporting that women tend to feel more stressed than men at work. Watch how deftly MGTOWforums “senior member” 7 Deadly Sins turns the topic from “women in the workplace” to “my sad penis.”

They wanted to work so now they’re working. Oh work is too hard and stressing you out? Too bad. You wanted to be career whores, right ? Enjoy. If you give women what they ask for, they still want more. Who cares if they’re stressed out? They can always get dicked down and take some of the edge off. Men can’t get sex whenever they “feel” like it. Nobody cares what you whores…

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